Bruce's Philosopher song

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant,
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar,
who could think you under the table !

David Hume could outconsume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine,
who was just as sloshed as Schegel.

low:
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach yer
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

getting faster:
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of Shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it a way
half a crate of Whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbs was found of his dram.
And Rene Descart was a drunken fart:
I drink therefore I am !

low:
But Socrates himself is particularly missed !
A lovely little thinker, but a buggar when he's pissed !